*Terms and Conditions Apply

Probably the most common question any new mother gets asked is “How does it feel to be a mom?” a question I must confess I asked new parents too. This question usually evokes an answer which involves a long dialogue from mom on how AMAZING it is, and how it’s such a blessing… blah blah blah. What most women are not telling you is that fine print attached to the priceless gift of having a child. What they are REALLY trying to tell you, is “I am a sleep deprived crazy person, who has no idea what I am doing, and I am say it’s amazing because I am hoping that at some point it will be.”

Okay, before you start judging me… I will honestly say being a mom is AMAZING*, all I am adding is that *terms and conditions apply. The reality is that no one would willingly apply to the job description of being a mother. The job specs would look a little something like this:

"Baby looking for a mother, no experience required. Must be able to work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, with no overtime pay. Must be willing to be vomited, peed and pooped on. Performance reviews will be done daily, if not satisfied you will be cried at. Applicant must be self-motivated willing to multitask."

Yes please, sign me up (not)! I am still trying to understand why it is so taboo to admit the pitfalls of motherhood. You are instantly judged as the ‘bad mom’ for admitting that your children are less than perfect (I mean heaven forbid). I just think the Stepford Wives outlook on life has become out-dated.

A non-parent friend of mine commented that parents try to trick you with the NICE talk, this hooks you into the idea of having one, and then when your bundle of joy arrives… BOOM… they hit you with the CRAZY talk. All of a sudden their AMAZING child story turns into the “We had 6 months of colic with our first child!” followed by countless horror stories which leaves you asking yourself, if they are the same happy-go-lucky friends who bragged consistently about their kids. This leaves you wondering if you can return this ‘gift’ only to realise that once again the fine print doesn’t allow you to return children.  

So my message to all you non-parents is: YES being a mom is amazing, but terms and conditions apply. And to all you parents who are doing the honourable job of raising kids…you are not alone!