The Evolution of the Metrodad

The celebration of the working mom became an essential topic of discussion, as women left their homes to pursue high profile careers. Women proved to the world that we could climb the corporate ladders while successfully raising happy families (and doing it in stilettoes too). However the evolution of the modern mom has stolen the limelight leaving the modern father in the shadows. 

It would be unfair not to acknowledge the changing role of fathers, especially in homes with the fully transformed working mom. Now I know there are a bunch of people who will be quick to argue the single-mom statistics, and the reality of the uninvolved dad is still very much a grave reality… but this is not where the debate is heading. This blog is for all those dedicated fathers who may find the parenting role to be somewhat sexist…. Yes I said it – Sexist! 

Flip through any parenting magazine, every image is that of mom-and-child. Online mothers can find loads of options for Mom-and-Tot classes, Mother forums, Mommy blogs and the list continues. Even a trip to the shopping centre, where Mommy-Parking has become the latest trend. Now don’t get me wrong, we love the mommy-parking, there is nothing worse than trying to get car seats and prams out from small parking spaces. But why are all the parking signs of MOMS with prams?

Just the other day, my partner in crime was a victim of some sexist behaviour. It all started with a simple trip to the shopping mall one Saturday. He was rolling solo with our daughter. First he bumps into a female friend who is excited to see the baby… on further investigation she is surprised to find out that mom is not present. Her complete shock subsides by saying “Oh, okay – so where is the nanny then?” Nanny? It’s a Saturday! This conversation ensues with him explaining that he REALLY is there alone, and it’s REALLY not a practical joke. It took some convincing before she actually believed that fathers could be left unsupervised with their kids. Matters were made worse when he was inside a store, and our daughter started to cry. Now crying is no phenomenon in a 4-month-olds day, but he was approached by a complete stranger to offer him some ‘female’ support. Because obviously a man has no idea to do with a crying child! He was mortified, and bewildered.

This made me think a lot about the evolution of the modern dad. It goes without saying that we would be furious if the working mom was disrespected, I mean can you imagine a male colleague saying “Shame, Do you need help with that report, sometimes you just need a man’s touch to get it right!!” Are we not creating a suitable fathering environment for dads, should dads not have more options, and should we not be doing more to highlight their challenges?  Not long ago the world embraced the metrosexual, women encouraged their men to moisturise and have the occasional manicure – and look the world did not fall apart. I think as moms and fellow parents we should start embracing the concept of the metrodad!

Aluta Continua Metrodads!  

                             

*Terms and Conditions Apply

Probably the most common question any new mother gets asked is “How does it feel to be a mom?” a question I must confess I asked new parents too. This question usually evokes an answer which involves a long dialogue from mom on how AMAZING it is, and how it’s such a blessing… blah blah blah. What most women are not telling you is that fine print attached to the priceless gift of having a child. What they are REALLY trying to tell you, is “I am a sleep deprived crazy person, who has no idea what I am doing, and I am say it’s amazing because I am hoping that at some point it will be.”

Okay, before you start judging me… I will honestly say being a mom is AMAZING*, all I am adding is that *terms and conditions apply. The reality is that no one would willingly apply to the job description of being a mother. The job specs would look a little something like this:

"Baby looking for a mother, no experience required. Must be able to work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, with no overtime pay. Must be willing to be vomited, peed and pooped on. Performance reviews will be done daily, if not satisfied you will be cried at. Applicant must be self-motivated willing to multitask."

Yes please, sign me up (not)! I am still trying to understand why it is so taboo to admit the pitfalls of motherhood. You are instantly judged as the ‘bad mom’ for admitting that your children are less than perfect (I mean heaven forbid). I just think the Stepford Wives outlook on life has become out-dated.

A non-parent friend of mine commented that parents try to trick you with the NICE talk, this hooks you into the idea of having one, and then when your bundle of joy arrives… BOOM… they hit you with the CRAZY talk. All of a sudden their AMAZING child story turns into the “We had 6 months of colic with our first child!” followed by countless horror stories which leaves you asking yourself, if they are the same happy-go-lucky friends who bragged consistently about their kids. This leaves you wondering if you can return this ‘gift’ only to realise that once again the fine print doesn’t allow you to return children.  

So my message to all you non-parents is: YES being a mom is amazing, but terms and conditions apply. And to all you parents who are doing the honourable job of raising kids…you are not alone!